Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
I humbly stand at the frontline of the healing war open & illuminated, armed with my most precious arsenal of modalities to be in service to humanity...
I see you, I am you
Most of my life was spent in conditioned behavior and trauma response looping. My self-worth was non-existent and I was clueless! "I am fine, this is my personality, it's Who I AM!" and to some degree this was true. We are who we believe we are and my story was signed, sealed & delivered. I believed I was a victim of everyone's abuse because I deserved it, because I was not worthy of love or consideration, I was dealt a bad hand and it was simply my fate to be abused, neglected & abandoned. My motto was "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger" (If this is your motto, contact me immediately!). I only needed myself because I was all I had and would ever have. Now the problem with that is the ME I was so dependent on was a mess. She was clueless, hurt, angry and utterly sad.
Amidst all the deep dark chaos swirling within me there was a dim light, like a candle flickering in the recesses of a cave. Somewhere in the depths of my soul that light knew there was more. More to life, more to me. It wasn't until I became curious about myself and we all know about curiosity killing that damn cat. Thankfully my fate with curiosity ended up being the catalyst to healing the human.
Once I began to witness my behaviors and thoughts as a curious observer, I began to question them and their origins. Questions like "Why do you do that?" "Where does that come from?" arose and enabled me to unpack the baggage within me, there was plenty of it. I was an Avoidant Perfectionist with layers and layers of conditioning & big T trauma. This journey was going to be long and hard so I fastened my seatbelt, not only committing to the process but stepping into it in a state of complete surrender.
I have always been attracted to the Self-help & Metaphysical sections at the bookstore, guess that was that light's subtle illumination to the next step. It was no surprise that reading as much as I could was my first call to arms. I read tirelessly, page by page the literal dissection of the fabric of my entire being began to unfold. I researched, integrated and expressed everything I came across that felt authentic to me. That gave me that sacral feeling of "uhh huh" though I had no clue about my sacral energy yet. It just intuitively felt right.
Speaking of feeling, that was a HUGE holy shit moment for me. I decided to do a little quiz online to identify my "superpower". You can imagine my shock when mine came up as Clairsentient, the ability to feel the emotions of others and receive clear psychic messages about their circumstances. Wait, feeling is my superpower!?! There must be something wrong. I don't feel! I am a logical thinker, I use my brain to intellectualize things and come up with answers! I took the quiz again and came up with the same result. In that moment I sobbed. I was so hurt, angry and confused. I have relied entirely on my brain all of my life, feeling was not something I did. I shut that system down a long time ago and for good reason. What that quiz told me in my perception at the time was I was weak! I was a feeler and I was weak and quite frankly my whole life was a lie! Boy was it, it was the biggest lie my trusty mind had ever told myself. It cut me off from my true nature and prohibited me from accessing my innate superpower of feeling!
In my attitude of surrender I accepted my clairsentience and invited feeling into my life. That quiz, that realization and surrender changed the trajectory of my life forever. Now armed with an amazing superpower I allowed my intuition, my body, my gut to allow me to feel into the things that felt most authentic to me and my journey and embrace them as my personal practice. The more I followed my feelings the more the path was illuminated. The more I followed, the more showed up, the more healing took place.
Knowing what I know now I know I was never a victim, it was always deliberate and designed that way for me. I was meant to have all of the experiences so that I could process, integrate, master and become the fullest expression of my authentic self to then share with others and enable them to heal so they could too find their fullest expression of their most authentic self.
Whether your healing journey is one you want to take with me, with someone else or go it solo is entirely up to you. I don't care how you get there, just get there. There is a lot of love, hope and rest on the other side.
The Light in Me Sees and Honors the Light in YOU!
All of my Love,
Jessica
Holistic Healer
Single Mother of 3
17yr Vegan - Gluten-Free
Certified Human Design Reader
Certified Human Design Family Coach
Certified Essential Oil Specialist
Master Herbalist - Green Witch
200hr RYT - Yoga Instructor
Luna Kisses, my 3yr old Ball Python, she travels the country too!
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